Tribute to My Chithappa – Dr. S. Kalyanaraman (Mahesh chithappa)

 

I am feeling extremely happy, so proud that my chithappa’s book had released today. Yet I am sad that he is not around when his book on “India’s Military Strategy – Countering Pakistan’s Challenge” got released. Last year his previous book he co-edited with Jo Inge Bekkevold “India’s Great Power Politics – Managing China’s Rise” got published a year after his death.

Dr. S. Kalyanaraman – my chithappa was a Research Fellow at the Manohar Parrikar Institute for Defence Studies and Analyses, New Delhi. His research focus was India’s defence and security policies. He was visiting member of faculty at the National Defence College, Army War College, Sushma Swaraj Institute of Foreign Service, and Bhutan’s Royal Institute for Governance and Strategic Studies. While doing his PhD he was selected for the Nehru Centenary Fellowship with Kings College, London.  He headed the editorial board for his institute for many years & various boards outside the institute.

During his memorial service meeting that happened in May 2021, there were many colleagues, scholars and academicians who spoke about him. One of his colleagues said “As a perfectionist he would agonize over every word and every comma whether he wrote or he was editing publications and research materials of others. Errors of commission and omission were dealt with a firm hand sent to the author to make necessary changes.”

He was also a regular speaker at various forums, gave interviews in few news channels and had many book reviews, research publications, books and many more.

His death left not only us the family devastated but scholars, academicans & experts from around the world wrote about him. One such message that stuck with me was that “His death is loss to India’s defense strategy research!” Felt so proud of him yet saddened that he had to leave the world early. He had wanted to research more and write more books on defense strategic focus for India.

He had always been a great inspiration to me right from young age. Whenever he came to Chennai for holidays he used to inspire me talking about history, science, encouraging me to read more books. My favourite time with him used to be playing words building game even when I was about 7 years and endless scrabbles matches.  He created a love for words, vocabulary and a love for reading in me. He had always encouraged me to ask lot of questions, never be shy to ask questions. “Its ok if you don’t know something unless you ask questions you will never learn!”

His infectious excitement while talking about his experience in another place or country or any topic was enough for me to develop an interest to write my thoughts. There was one other tweet about him that is in my mind “One of the finest human beings. A scholar par excellence. His articulation was an absolute magic. I remember once I was preparing for my school exam, I was struggling to remember the names of wars, people and chronological order. He told my entire history portions like a story to me in a form that I was able to remember and connect names, people and wars in the right order.  I hope to improve my writing skills to his level to create magic with articulation like his colleague said.

I have a memory where I was reading about Nuclear power plants from one of my school books. He asked me what are you reading about, I told him that. He explained me how a nuclear power plant will be, why it exists, how it impacts our country and more. He taught me how make concept mind maps, how do you choose important points from a huge document and more. I didn’t know the importance of what he taught me casually but later in life I understood why he taught them to me.

I think I developed my love for strategy from him. He explained me what is strategy, what is planning and how do you plan and much more. I shared a similar handwriting with him, my paati used to say that some of my expressions, style of talking were like him. I used to be proud whenever someone say that and still it makes me proud.

I am glad that I was able to be with him along with chithi in the last few days of his life and able to hold his hand before we lost him. I still cant forget his last day and the entire struggle physical struggle of lung infection, pain of how covid affected his body and mental struggle of back to back death of his mom, dad and elder brother. He was so worried about all of us in the family and when he knew he was going to die – the look in eyes stays fresh in my memory.

He taught me a lot of things in life and he loved me as a daughter whole heartedly. Chithi told me that he used to worry about me a lot after I started my own firm. He used to be worried that the world is cruel and I have to meet the right trustworthy people in the world of business. Because of my discussions with him I learn to be cautious yet not afraid to march on. I hope to make him proud by being a very successful entrepreneur who creates history and transforms the way businesses operate and transform education.

Both my chithappa’s took care of me and my sister like their own daughters. Even though my dad passed away when we were young my chithappas, my grandparents were our support system growing up. Today the release of his book brought back a lot my memories of him and made me feel super proud of him and his contributions of Defense Studies to India. It is a bittersweet moment as I miss him a lot today. I would have loved to see his childlike laughter, twinkle of his eyes and excitement of today’s book release.

“My dear chithappa, though you are not here physically yet you live with us in our memories forever.”

Regards,

Aparna Subramanian